gossip

i've been the subject of many gossip sessions these days...
whether i'm involved in a scandal or whether i'm hiding something is being discussed...
am i in love with someone i'm not supposed to be in love with?
why do i seem to dislike certain people?
am i using him?
is she sleeping with him?
i'm used to being analyzed...
having my every move and my every word watched and dissected...

sometimes i wonder why people like to make up stories about others...
is it because life is boring and they need drama...?
is it because they truly believe in those stories...?
is it because they're insecure and having problems of their own that they need to divert the attention elsewhere...?
is it because they secretly envy me...?

i have to admit that i do participate in gossip sessions too...
listening intently as people tell stories about other people...
questioning the authenticity and the truth behind these stories...
and i'd like to believe that i have more common sense than that...
that i would be able to easily distinguish between what's true and what's absurd...
that i won't go around spreading ill rumors about someone or something...
and i hope that others would be able to do the same...

in the end...i don't really care about what people say about me...
its in our nature to dissect the negatives rather than focus on the positives...
no one's going to talk about how smart that person is...or how independent she is...or how creative he is...
its always about scandal...cat fights...bad blood...
and if that makes someone's life more fulfilling...
if it brings excitement into someone's mundane routine...so be it...

until then...